Isn’t it funny how when we look in the mirror or look at ourselves, we see something completely different from what comes out when a picture is taken? Or what we’re seeing is something different from what everyone else sees. And when your voice comes out, what you hear every day is again different from what you’d hear if you recorded yourself talking normally. In addition to which, when I talk with different people my voice is higher or lower or faster or slower or whatever my subconscious tells me the situation calls for. This has continuously amazed me since I discovered it many years ago.
I have a picture on my wall of Nastia Liukin (I wonder how many hits her name will get my blog). The caption is “I’m not afraid to lose.” That made me stop and think, which is why it’s on my wall, in addition to the fact that she’s Nastia Liukin and is beautiful no matter which way you look at her but particularly in the jump she’s doing in the picture. Afraid to lose? Is that something people are afraid of? Yes, yes I think so sometimes. So how does that fear affect people’s performance? Does it make it worse? Think about it. If you’re afraid to lose, how will you feel before your performance? Nervous, mostly. More pressure. Perhaps her statement could be turned around to say, “I’m unconcerned with winning,” as in, that’s not my top priority. It’s something Americans are tunnel-visioned about. Winning, winning, winning. Losing is not an option. The ends justify the means. It’s one way to be, and if it makes you happy, then kudos to you! I used to be that way, and it didn’t make me happy (they have not…made…me…happy), so now I have Nastia on my wall to remind me not to be that way. It works.
I thought I was on top of things like homework and going to meetings and things. This is what I get for thinking, I guess.
You know when you’re having a conversation with someone, and they are describing something to you, and you nod and say “mm-hm” every now and then to let them know you’re listening, even though it’s in response to something they’ve said like “you know when you go bungee jumping…you know what I mean?” and you’ve never done it before? You say it as though you’ve understood when in fact you haven’t, and it’s just a cultural norm to do it because if you don’t, they may think you’re not actually listening to them. I’m going to stop nodding and mm-hming from now on. I tried it earlier, and it hurt me not to do it. It’s so ingrained in me that I had to concentrate not to do it. But it doesn’t add anything to the conversation, and not doing it throws people off, which is always a cool point in my book. Maybe I shouldn’t have written it here because now you’ve all been warned. Oh well, if you both read this and talk to me you’ll probably have forgotten about it by the time we talk.
The end of that paragraph marked 533 words. WordPress has put this new feature at the top of the writing field to count words. I wonder who requested it and why. I figured I’d never use it and it was silly, but here I am using it and thinking how useful it is.
k I’m going to lunch with Catie and Brandon bye.
In Eastern Europe, especially Russia, if you’re not a loser then people assume you either bribed or killed somebody. I don’t know why Americans are so obsessed with not losing, but we definitely are. The most shocking thing to me was the discovery that having advanced degrees and making $35,000 a year qualifies you as a loser to much of America, where in Germany it makes you successful.
Coincidentally she’s Russian…dunno how many people knew that, just thought I’d throw it out. I wonder what effect having Russian parents, living in America, and enjoying her formidable success have had on her; I wonder what kind of person she is in real life.
Your reference to the $35,000 brings to mind that the standards of living in each country are different. Keep in mind that the average income in America, even adjusted for inflation, has risen to a pretty high point, so $35000 is indeed not that much anymore. That being said, you are right: the attitude toward earning that much is a bit silly. It doesn’t make anyone a loser, it’s just a number.
I think every country is obsessed with not losing, they just define it differently. Sometimes very differently. In Iraq (among others) staying alive=not losing.
Even so, mom, I think there is a difference. You can be happy that you are alive, but if you take joy in the fact that others are alive as well, that’s not an obsession with winning (life). If others die while you live and you’re happy because of that (a morbid extension of when we score a goal and we’re happy about it or are sad because ‘they’ scored), I would call that the obsession. I guess it’s the obsession with self that makes the difference–not being able to be happy when others succeed.
Exactly. The obsession with self. But to be fair to your mom, many people do view the self differently — as a sovereign being, a part of a political whole, an autonomy, a reflection of God, etc, etc — which is why losing does mean different things to different people. If you view yourself as part of a larger political whole, then anyone who “succeeds” as an autonomous individual must be a crook. If you view yourself as a sovereign being then anyone who submits themselves to a political movement is weak (ie, a loser/liberal). Perhaps the idea of dying to self is probably the wisest — just get rid of the source of all this confusion altogether…
Yes. I struggle with the idea of dying to oneself, and by that I mean that it seems like a personally useful philosophy and I want to know more, but I can’t figure out how to do it. Or something.